The advantages that smartphones, tablets, smart TVs and other such devices give us are undeniable, especially for kids, who stay socially active and develop their motor skills through them, but it’s also true that they have some worrying drawbacks concerning the time kids are spending on them.

There are different types of “screen time,” which means how much screen time does the average child get to spend online depends on what they’re spending it on.

Take these four categories defined by the Common Sense Census: Media Use by Tweens and Teens:

• Passive consumption: watching TV, reading, and listening to music
• Interactive consumption: playing games and browsing the Internet
• Communication: video-chatting and using social media
• Content creation: using devices to make digital art or music

As you can see, different areas of their lives are affected directly by each category, so it stands to reason that not all of their online time should be seen as a single, monolithic block to be taken away altogether. Many studies show that it’s not necessarily the length of time kids spend online, but the nature of it, what really matters. The key is to find a balance between the different uses for their online presence with equally positive offline activities.

Being realistic is the first step towards finding this online-offline balance since many of the activities and life experiences that were common in our generation are now fairly different or have adapted to a permanently online world. Communication, then, is an absolute necessity, because your kids should understand that these limitations are implemented to foster a healthier development for them, instead of arbitrarily set by parents who “just don’t get it”.

1. Set realistic, clear limits

Depending on the age of your kids, their need for a laptop or a tablet for schoolwork might seem like an obstacle to setting clear online time limits, but that just means you have to monitor their usage more closely and to set more fluid conditions for internet usage.

Does it make any difference if you allow three periods of 20 minutes or 1 of an hour? Remember, it’s not so much the time, but the quality of it. Whatever time you allow, make sure your kids consume age-appropriate media always. You can start by making a schedule, which would in turn, allow you to better monitor your children’s online time.

For example, try this:

No screens before homework is done, then some free time, a screen-free dinner, some more free time, then chores, some family time, and they can’t take their screens to the bedroom.

There are no set times because, as we mentioned earlier, it’s better to be fluid when limiting such a common part of modern life. Mix their free time with homework and chores, or if you’re having someone over for cleaning, make it into a screen-free family outing.

2. Be a proper example

It will be hard for your kids to listen to you if you don’t practice what you preach. Just being an adult does not excuse us from using the internet responsibly. This does not mean, however, that you should hide every time you need to check your inbox, just make it clear that you have a purpose for picking the phone up: “Let’s check the weather for tomorrow,” “I need to order some groceries,” etc

If you make a habit out of these practices when they’re still young, that will help mold their expectations of how much online time is normal into a more realistic amount.

 

3. Teach them to prioritize

Future technologies will be more advanced than we can even imagine, so being thoroughly restrictive about screen time with our children might leave them at a disadvantage when they are adults. They should understand that breaking the rules carries along consequences and that you will enforce them, but merely taking the device away with a “because I say so” attitude won’t help your cause.

Help your children understand that, rather than just limiting their time, you want them to learn how to properly prioritize their own time, which will make their lives easier once they take on different responsibilities as they grow older.